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Best of Yet Another Decade

I've had this blog now for over two years now, and it occurred to me.  Not all my readers have been with me all this time... some may have just started reading it last year... some may have just read the last post...

I'll tell you a secret... when I stumble upon something new to read, I'll read the last couple of articles... I won't read everything that has been written over the years... So, I shouldn't expect you guys to do the same thing (though it would be great if you did).

You know how when a singer has been around a few years, they'll come up with a 'best of' album... all their hits in one album... for those who haven't bought the older stuff... Sooooo... that's what I wanted to do.... The Best of Yet Another Decade.

I'll pick out some of my favourite posts and list them here for your reading pleasure.

Here's another secret I have... I never read what I write... I'll write, I publish, and I put the link up on twitter and facebook... that's why sometimes you'll find grammar and spelling errors... I just don't check.  So to come up with this list, I've actually got to read my own stuff... This stuff is quite good, if I say so myself...

So here's my top 8 favourite posts, in no particular order:

1. Listen to Me
2. Between Boxes and Sock Drawers
3. Doormat
4. Real Men Wear White
5. Great Powers
6. Investments
7. Settling
8. I Am What I Am

Darling, you're killing the romance...

I was listening to the radio yesterday on my way to work.  It was the 29th of February, so the topic of the morning show was obviously the leap year.  They mentioned that the 29th of February is also known as 'Bachelor's Day'.  I didn't bother to verify this fact since I believe everything I hear on radio...

Anyway, on Bachelor's Day, women are allowed to propose to their boyfriend.  If they reject the proposal, they have to compensate the girl.  So, the guys on the show (by the way, this was Pagi Rock Crew on FlyFm) asked the only girl of the trio, Nadia, how she would actually propose to a guy... see how romantic she could be.  Nadia's answer was that she would just ask him 'so you want to marry me, or not' (or something like that... let's just assume that I'm just going to paraphrase from now on).

Her rationale was that guys aren't romantic... so why bother being romantic when proposing to them.  Of course after that, there were a few women who called in to say the same thing... either all men are not romantic, or only bitter and disappointed women like to call in to the morning show.

Image: David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

For argument's sake, let's assume that women in general feel that the majority of men out there are incredibly un-romantic (is that even a word?).  Let's also assume that most men believe the same thing... it's what their partners have been telling them all this while, so it's got to be true.

So let's look at what being romantic is... textbook definition is 'inclined toward or suggestive of the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love'.  What the heck does that mean!?

It means you do something that makes the person feel loved, lah... simple, right?  No.

You see, different people have different ideas on what makes them feel loved... let's take a look at this hypothetical conversation between a loving couple:

Girl : Sugar-Pie-Honey-Bunch... I WUUUVVVVV You!!!

Boy : Err... I love you too...

Girl : You're not saying it right...  I WUUUVVVVV You!!!

Boy : I love you too...

Girl : WUV WUV WUV!!!!!!!!

Boy : Are you okay?  By the way, I've had a look at your tax returns and made some adjustments... you'll be getting a much higher amount back from the government.

Girl : You're not romantic!!!!!! I hate you!!!!!

Boy : I'm in trouble, aren't I?

What went wrong?  The problem we have here is a failure to understand each other's needs and concept of romance.  In this (totally made up... not all women are like that... don't hate me) example, the girl wanted to be all mushy when it comes to expressing her love... that is what she's expecting in return.  The guy on the other hand wanted to express his love for her by doing her tax return for her and making her some extra cash.  They both love each other, but are not on the same page.

Lets go back to the definition of romance... the layman one that I gave... to be 'romantic', you have to make the other person feel loved by your actions.  There are no hard rules pertaining to what actions work... you have to get to know your partner and learn how to pull on their heart strings...

A couple of days ago, a friend posted on Facebook that he just booked a vacation to a place that he's gone to several times and he finds boring.  The only reason he's going there is because his wife loves the place.  Minus the fact that he told everybody this on a social network, he was being very romantic.  He was willing to make the sacrifice so that his wife will be happy.  That's romance...

I know of women who cook the same boring set of dishes every day even though they cannot swallow another bite of it... the reason is the husband loves those dishes... again, true romance.

Romance isn't defined by the products that are provided by the gift and flower industries... it's defined by how well you know your partner, and how far you're willing to go to make that person feel and know how much love you have for them.

Now let's try that conversation again:

Girl : I got you a bouquet... of tickets to Old Trafford (or Anfield, or whatever....)

Boy : Oh my darling sweetheart... my reason for living... Thank you soooooooo much!!! I WUUUVVVVV You soooooooooooo much!!! muah muah muah muah.... and one more for good luck... mmmmmmuuuuuaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

Girl : I love you too... now let's work on our tax returns together...

Happy New Year?

This is the first post for me for the year 2012...

Not to worry... my new year's resolution for this year was to procrastinate as much as possible...  I think I've done a good job.

To tell you the truth, I have been busy these past couple of months... and whatever time I have, I spend it in an almost comatose state... I have overstretched my mind and body.  I look at my face in the mirror and it looks like I haven't slept in a week.  I certainly do feel like it.

So how's 2012 been treating me?  Feels exactly the same as 2011.  (That was anti-climactic)

My life has been full though... my son started primary school.  Now that's an entire blog post, right there.  So I won't spend time writing about it here.

I did go on a vacation. Went to Hat Yai with my family ++.  Note that there's a "++" there... total there was almost 40 people that went... I don't talk about vacations here... this is not a travel blog (I wonder if I would get more readers if I did do travel reviews?).

Other than that it has been work, traffic jams, sleep, tv, eating...

Not much for the first post of the year, right?

If you've actually been following this blog, you would know that I always have this short type of post whenever I've been absent for a long time... it's my 'excuse for not writing' post...

Now on to the new stories...

Heart Plans

It’s Boxing Day and here I am on a flight to Penang… I’ve got a meeting early tomorrow morning.  I’ve decided to give my boss the day off so he can spend Christmas with his family.  (Now I dictate my boss’ schedule, it seems).

So what am I doing blogging…? Well, the flight attendants are never around long enough for me to hit on them… so what else could I do?  I might as well write.

I probably won’t get this post online until tomorrow when I’m back in KL, but at least it will keep my mind occupied.

So what do I have to say about air travel?  Absolutely nothing.  Now everybody flies all the time.  That’s nothing worth writing about.  So I’m going to write about something else… relationships… (do I ever have a different topic?)

Image: Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Anyway… recently my friend was planning out his life… trying to ascertain where he is in his life and when he can possibly share his life with a partner… In other words, he was trying to figure out whether he should get married.

So he came out with a chart… a proposal… business plans… peer reviews… and all sorts of official looking documents.  Another friend was with us at the time and asked me, ‘so, did you do all these charts when you decided to get married?  My answer was quite simple…

‘No, I knew what I wanted.’

Here’s the thing with me.  I do believe that everything should have a plan and your decisions should be based on actual facts and figures… that’s how I do things at the office… that’s how I plan most of my life…  except for matters of the heart…

To me, matters of the heart are things that are totally unquantifiable.  How could you quantify how much you love a person and how much you yearn to spend the rest of your life with them?  Let me give you another example.

I have many friends who really try to plan when to have kids… they look at finances, work schedules, availability of a home in a good neighbourhood, baby sitters… all this planning takes place before they even have sex!!   Now where’s the fun in that?  Could you imagine the conversation that takes place then?

Husband : I believe we should copulate tonight…

Wife : Are you sure about that?  What is the rationale behind this decision?

Husband : Well, I have just secured a $5mil project that is set to roll out within the next quarter of this year.  The bonus I would receive would be enough to start and education fund for our future child.  My travel schedule for the project would mean I would be home nine months from now so I can attend your delivery of the abovementioned child

Wife : That’s excellent news.  I’ll check my body temperature to see if it’s suitable for coitus. 

Huh!?

The heart should get what the heart wants… the conversation should be like this:

Husband : wink wink
Wife : wink
(censored)

You shouldn’t deny what the heart yearns due to budgets, timing, etc.  Just do it.  You then plan your financials and schedules around those ‘heart plans’… When it’s something from the heart you will be able to meet those tight deadlines and budgets for sure.  You’ll work harder at it because you future happiness is at stake.

‘Ladies and Gentleman, we are about to land.  Please switch off your electronic devices like your laptop because you can’t upload the post to your blog now anyway.  Thank you for flying with us.’

I've Got an Excuse...

Ok, this time I've got a valid excuse... sort of...

I know I haven't updated my blog since my birthday.  But I've been busy... not the usual 'busy' that I always say when I am just procrastinating.  It's the real busy... with writing my book.

This whole time I've been trying to come up with the first chapter and the sequence of which I'm gonna put in some of my earlier blog posts... I've also looked at where I'm gonna have to do the re-writes for the blog posts that become chapters.  Also, gaps have to be filled.

In all this time, I've got a frame, and as of a couple of hours ago, my first chapter.

This is definitely not going to be the way I write my blog.  You see, I never read what I write.  I straight away publish it.  That's why sometimes you'll see atrocious grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, etc.  I write whatever comes to mind, and sometimes sentence structure suffers.

This time, I'm actually re-reading everything while I write.  I have to if it's going to be more than the usual 600 words.  The whole thing has to make sense.

Anyway, the first chapter still needs a re-write.  Missing a lot of the usual spunk and humour.  I even feel that the first few paragraphs sounded like a script to a documentary.  I'll get to it later...

I wonder if I'll ever finish it, considering the fact that it has taken me years to get around to doing this....  let's hope I really get into my groove...

Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to Me... Happy Birthday to Me... Happy Birthday to Yet Another Decade!! Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Yes, it's that time of year again.  My birthday.  I'm 32 this year...

This also means that it's the 2nd year anniversary of "Yet Another Decade"... I know those of you who look at the tiny details will say that it hasn't been two years since I started the blog... BUT, I did plan on starting it when I turned 30... and it's the intentions that matters... right?

Anyway, it's been a really great year for me... I won't dwell too much on that, since I've already written about it in a post called "As Luck Would Have It..."... (at least in the first paragraph)...

This year I've decided to go into hiding during my birthday... this is to avoid any situations that would somehow screw up my birthday... so far, I've had a great time doing absolutely NOTHING... I guess for a person that cannot stand still, doing nothing is a very welcomed rest.

This birthday is not so much about celebration... it's about being thankful for all the great things that happened to me in this one year...  I started it on a bad note (no, I'm not going to tell you guys what happened).  But in retrospect, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I would like to thank my friends and family who have been there for me this year... without all of you, I'm sure I would be a bitter 30-something guy who hates the world... but instead, I'm happy to be 32 this year... with a heart that's 21... and looking forward to year number 33.