Listen to Me

Have you ever heard women say “_______ is a great guy… he’s such a great listener”? It seems that one of the best qualities a man can posses is the ability to listen… at least according to women. It’s just incredible that one of the best ways into a woman’s heart is just to shut up and listen… easier said than done though.

Well, I’m going to write something that will make some men angry and burst the bubble for some women… (in other words, I’m going to tell a secret about men which some women have not figured out).

Most of those great guys who are great listeners, aren’t really listening!!!

Women : *gasp
Men : *groan

I’m not saying that we men only pretend to listen all the time… we just pretend to listen some of the time. Most of the things women say are interesting (why do I hear guys laughing as I type that sentence??). Sometimes women talk about stuff that isn’t that interesting to us. So we pretend to listen as not to offend you. (Does that make it sound better to you girls?)

This is how it works… first, you need to have the right face. If the girl is telling a ‘happy’ story, then have a little grin on your face… if the girl is telling a ‘sad’ story, you should have a look of concern on your face. Next, nod occasionally. Now this is the most important part. Pick a random sentence the girl just said and turn it into a question. Example, ‘When I got to the cashier, I found out that the shoes were on sale!’ is followed by ‘the shoes were on sale?’ It gives an appearance that you’re actually listening.

Other than those random ‘questions’, the guy’s thoughts will be wondering somewhere else, with topics such as the economic crisis, bank interest rates, and the influx of illegal foreign workers… never would a guy think of inappropriate things such as other girls, sex, and weekend parties… (disclaimer : I can only speak for myself. I don’t know what other guys think about… we never discuss such things… because were MEN!)

Why do I have the feeling I’m going to get beaten up by a mob of angry guys for writing this?

All jokes aside, listening skills are an important skill set the both men and women must have. Men also like it when other people listen to what they have to say… I believe it’s our need to be acknowledged and accepted by society.

Whether you want to admit it or not, everybody likes to be the center of attention. I know there are some of you who will disagree with me. You will say that you like to keep a ‘low profile’. It’s not that you don’t crave attention… you only want it from certain people, like your loved ones.

Listening (actual listening, not pretending to listen) provides you with crucial information to help you decide your next course of action. In other words, you don’t piss off your partner by doing something they don’t like.

Personal life isn’t the only place listening will help. Your professional life will surely improve if you learn to listen. The first thing they teach you in sales is you have to listen to your client… it’s easier to sell them something they actually want… you can only find out what that is if you listen…

I have improved relations with my clients on numerous occasions by just listening to their needs… and not even providing them with a solution. For most people, even though you aren’t able to cater to their needs, they still feel you have done your best if you actually listened to them and understood their concerns… we can set rules in business, but business is still run by humans with emotional needs…

In short, listen to what I have to say next time…