As Tennyson Would Say...

I have this friend… (a lot of my blog posts have that line!). I’ve known him for about six years now… he got married about a year ago… the thing about him is that his marriage almost never happened. You see, he and his wife are neither of the same race nor religion.

OMG! Am I about to break my rule about never talking about two sensitive things which are politics and religion?

Well, not really… let me explain.

No matter how we think our society has advanced, a lot of people have a problem with multiracial relationships. The reason is quite simple… we are afraid of what we don’t understand. It’s human nature. It’s easier to assume those that are different from us will make things ‘complicated’…

You may say that you have ‘evolved’ and become a tolerant person in terms of other cultures, but I can bet that you have second thoughts when somebody offers you food that you’ve never seen before (and looks really weird). Admit it, how many of you say “ewwww” when you see somebody eating a bug or something on a documentary?

Now back to my friend… both their families did not agree with their relationship. He told me once that they actually ‘took a step back’ in the relationship, thinking it will never work out.

I’ve been in a multiracial relationship before, so I pretty much understand where he’s coming from. There are objections from the families (though mine didn’t really care, because I’m one of those people who can’t be told to do anything… “just let him be”…), objections from friends, and of course, society at large.

Thank goodness, my friend and his wife stuck to it, and now they are happily married (that’s an oxymoron, if I’ve ever heard one).

To tell you the truth, what I wanted to talk about wasn’t racial tolerance… what I wanted to talk about was why people would get into a relationship, knowing that they will immediately face hardship? In my friend’s case, he knew society would not fully accept it… taking things all the way would be an uphill climb… it was the same with me, but I still ‘took the bull by the horns’, so to speak.

I’m not only talking about this type of relationships… what about those who get into a long distance relationship? I know a few people whose spouses are an 18 hour flight away! And they got married, knowing that would be the case.

I’ve also heard of people who get into a relationship with, and even marry somebody who is terminally ill… now that’s an extreme example of ‘love conquers all’…

That was one hell of an introduction… it’s as long as my normal posts…

Anyway, the whole theme of this post is that sometimes we knowingly walk into a relationship knowing that the odds are stacked against us. Logically, we should walk away… what is the point of going through so much ‘hardship’ if the odds of you succeeding are so low?

Tennyson did say “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Now are we really sure of that? Has he never been through the heartache of laying everything on the line and losing it all?

Well, probably he did and came to this conclusion after fully getting over the loss…

Somehow or rather, I believe that… I believe that love is something worth the risk… you know that you would end up getting burned… after all, there is no such thing as happily ever after… I’m pretty sure Snow White sometimes wishes that she had hooked up with one of the dwarves instead of Prince Charming… so a bit of bad with a lot of good is worth it, right?

Someone once told me that if you really care about someone, you don’t want them to feel hurt in any way… so if taking a risk would lead to that, then it is better not to start anything… better to keep your feelings and emotions bottled inside…

I sort of agree with that… but the problem is the fact that you’re denying not only yourself, but the person you care for, the opportunity to experience love. It’s not to say that it will be the last chance for both of you to experience love… but each opportunity is unique and shouldn’t be passed up.

So what is the conclusion here? Well, I believe we all know that I’m a risk taker… jump first and figure things out later… so you know which way I’m leaning towards…

But it’s all about you… do you believe you can handle the trials and tribulations? If you can, put on some fire-proof underwear and let the good times (and bad times) roll…

How many of you understood the ‘fire-proof underwear’ thing?

Taking Risks

I was out with a few friends the other night. We went to watch the Brazil-Holland game… just in case you have no idea what I’m talking about, it was the quarter-finals for the World Cup.

Anyway, found out that everybody at the table had bet on Brazil to win the game. After all, it was Brazil… it was a sure thing.

It’s a good thing I didn’t place a bet. Holland came from behind to win it 2-1. So all my friends lost quite a bit of money that night… I should have taken a picture of their faces… priceless.

But you see, they made a choice that had very minimal risk. The Brazilian side was the favourite. In other words, they were supposed to make quite a bit of money that night (they made bets which were larger than their usual amounts).

This right here teaches us a very important lesson in life. There is no such thing as ‘a sure thing’… you can’t predict what the future holds. You can only do your best, and leave the rest to fate.

So where does that leave the concept of ‘taking risks’? Should you go through life playing it safe?

Of course not! Haven’t you been paying attention?

In the example given (why do I sound like a textbook?), it was the safest choice to bet on Brazil. The bookmakers have done their math, and put Brazil as the favourites to win. So placing a bet on Brazil wouldn’t be considered taking a risk at all… a sure thing… and look what happened… I’ve seen funerals which were more cheerful.

We go through every day making countless decisions which pretty much have ‘life or death’ implications…

Do I go to the office today or work from home? – statistics show that there are around 7 million traffic accidents a year in the US alone.

Do I eat at the cafeteria or go out for lunch? – let’s just say I’ve gotten my fair share of food poisoning…

We deal with risks every day, so why stop now (it’s not like you can anyway).

I’ve got a few friends who are making important decisions in the very near future… some are making career changes, some are getting married, and some are taking the risk of staying put. I wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors.

We do the calculations and make an educated ‘guess’ as to what will happen. Even if it’s seems too high risk, the rewards, if successful, would be tremendous.

After all, a sure thing like a Brazil win, doesn’t guarantee anything. So just put it all on the line.