Syam's Dating Guide : Lesson 1

I was complaining the other day (okay, I complain most days) about how I haven't started writing my book and began my career as a starving artist... (now, I'm just a starving consultant)... my problem is I haven't decided what to write about... so my friend tells me to write a bunch of short pieces about relationships, just like this blog.

Sounded like a good idea because I'm really horrible at relationships... but as they say, 'Those who can, do.  Those who can't, teach'... So this leads us to the subject of this post... I'm going to write a series of posts about what dating is... a step by step guide on the do's, don'ts and the wtf's... after that I'll put it all into a book.

Of course the book will be the full version, with more goodies inside (I'm going to resort to putting marijuana samples inside to boost sales... plus I'm pretty sure it's more fun to read if you're stoned)... that way, you'll still want to go out and buy it...

Class, our first lesson is...

Lesson 1 : Getting Your Foot in the Door

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First impression is always the most important.  You don't want to look like a total moron, unless of course the 'target' likes morons... (you'll be surprised at how many people fall for moronic behaviour... I have a 'pizza hut' story which would serve as a perfect example, but won't share it with you guys until after I tell the story during the couple's wedding).

You want to be cool, but not winter type of cold... reminds me of what happened to me the first week I entered university... we were all lining up to register for something... everybody was dressed in old t-shirts, jeans and sandals... I decided to go all with a more stylish look...

I can't really remember what I was wearing, but I do remember the sunglasses (it was sunny, and we were outside).  I was in my "I'm cool and I don't give a damn what you think" phase (that phase lasted about two weeks).  There were three girls behind me... one was hot and the other two were not bad...

So the hot one starts talking to me... imagine three girls with an "OMG! He's so cool!" look and me with the most arrogant facial expression you've ever seen...

Hot Girl : hi... you're Syam, right?

Me : yeah...

Hot Girl : i'm (name1) and this is (name2) and (name3)

Me : hmmm...

Hot Girl : you're from XX college, right?

Me : yup...

Hot Girl : so your taking YY course, right?

Me : yup...

As you can see from this example, I was a total ass... unable to have a simple conversation... suffice to say, I did not end up with Hot Girl... in fact, never spoke to her ever again, though I did see her around...

There is of course the very opposite end of the spectrum on how to 'break the ice' with that target of yours... people like somebody funny... you have to admit that you are more comfortable with a person if he's easy going, cracking jokes... releases all the tension...

I have an example... (of course I do...).  This happened a long time ago... my friend told me of his experience in trying to get a date with this hot older girl... it wasn't his idea... he had a bunch of friends responsible for that decision.

Anyway, he goes to the convenience store and get a mini candy bar... Cloud 9, for those who remember it.  Not a whole candy bar, but a mini one.  Then he goes up to her while she was with all her friends... daring... and he immediately goes into this speech... (the speech was in Malay, but I'll give the loose translation instead)... now imagine the goofiest looking 17 year old going up to a hot older girl who's hanging out with her friends...

Friend : XX
Hot Older Girl : yes?
Friend : Please accept this candy bar as a token of my love for you... I know that it is not much of an offering for you deserve so much more, but it is everything that I can give right now... and everything is what you'll get from me if we are together... would you like to go out with me?
Hot Older Girl : hahahahahahaha... okay...

It was original... it was funny... so she said yes... (by the way, they never went out... a few minutes later, she saw my friend being carried around like a conquering hero by his friends for getting a date with her... she was not amused)...

There's many different ways for you to get the attention of the one you like... there's really no set formula on what works best.  My best advice to you is to be yourself.  If you were to start with a fake personality, then you have to continue faking it for the entire relationship... either that or disappoint the other person when they find out that you are not the same person that they initially liked...

There's always something good about every person... and there is at least one person out there who will see it during the first meeting... so relax, be yourself, and get your foot in the door.