Cold War

This morning, I read something interesting on facebook... it was my friend's status...

Yes, in this new age, I get my inspiration for writing from facebook status messages... to tell you the truth, that's all I have time to read nowadays...

Image: nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Anyway, the status read like this (of course I'm paraphrasing, because I don't want to pay royalty) : if you and your partner were in the middle of a 'cold war', would you make the effort to patch things up, or would you wait for the other person?

I say you should wait it out and make the other person SUFFER!!

I'm just kidding... since when have I been so cruel?

There are actually a few ways at looking at this predicament...

1. If you ignore something long enough, it will go away by itself... now, I have always been a firm believer in "I don't know how, but things have a way of working itself out"... It's actually the lazy man's solution to everything.  Amazingly, in some cases, it does work out for the best.  The problem is whether you are willing to take that risk.

An example of this would be a growth on your neck which keeps on getting bigger... you can wait for it to go away by itself, but most likely, you will die.

You must be able to weigh the situation, and use this method only if the risks are negligible... there are 'problems' in a relationships for which this applies... for example, a partner who wouldn't take out the trash when you ask them to... how long could it possibly last? A day at most?  Plus, they'll learn a smelly lesson...

By the way, I've tried this method with my credit card bills... doesn't work.

2. Some things are better left unsaid... put it this way... you've agreed to disagree... of course, this is not the ideal solution to a problem, but sometimes it can't be avoided.  There is no point in trying to have the last say about the situation.

But... (of course there's a 'but'), both of you need some time sort things out internally... you need the time to evaluate the effects of the disagreement on your relationship.  This takes time, and is usually done with the usual 'silent treatment'... of course, when you both decide that it's okay if neither of you win and you should move on, then the cold war ends... no effort required.

Please note that a move to patch things up early by either party will cause dissatisfaction from the other party for breach of terms of cease fire... (is this a blog or a legal document?)

3. Buddy, you've got issues... if you're here, then most probably you guys don't talk things out... so many things are left unsaid, and the issue festers inside.  This usually happens when one person has a big issue, and the other person has no idea... who's fault... obviously the former... What? You think everybody can read your mind?

Even though it may seem easier to 'not talk about it', it's better if you just have it out.  If you are ready to 'end the war', so to speak, but the other person is not and you have no idea why, force it out of him/her.  You might not like what you hear after that, but it's something that you have to listen to and deal with.

I have seen many situations where problems are swept under the rug in the relationship.  One day, a tiny issue comes out and it becomes the straw that broke the camel's back.  You'll feel like an idiot if your answer to 'Why did you guys break up?' is 'There were some issues but we finally broke up because she coughed while I was reading the newspaper.'

4. I need some lovin'... let's face it.  All of us need attention.  Some more than others.  Starting a cold war is just a means to an end.  You've got to learn to differentiate which ones are serious and which ones are just downright silly.

If your partner is being an ass and not talking to you for no good reason, then be the bigger person and give 'em some lovin'... candy, flowers, a night out, a lap dance... whatever tickles your fancy.  Careful though... if it turns out to be no. 2 or no. 3, then you might just incur the wrath of your partner.  So be absolutely sure of the situation before putting on that thong and strutting your stuff...


All things said and done, I strongly believe that the whole cold war/silent treatment thing is just a waste of valuable relationship time.  Your time on earth is very short, and the time you have with a loved one is even shorter.  Make every second count, for you'll never know when you might lose it all.

As the saying goes... "make love, not war"...