Some Things Always Change…

I was downtown just now to get myself a new ‘baju melayu’… for those who don’t know what that is, it’s the traditional Malay outfit… mainly it’s used for special occasions nowadays, though some people still wear it on a daily basis.

I haven’t gotten a new one in years… in fact, the last time I had one made was when I got married. After that, I’ve just been reusing the few that I have… the reason is, well, I use it only twice a year. Kind of a waste of money to buy a new one every year… And the ones I get are not exactly cheap. I always get mine tailor made out of satin, at the same tailor I’ve been going to since I was small. And that’s not even including the ‘samping songket’ that goes along with it… I’m not that good at explaining things like that so here’s the wiki link for it à http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baju_Melayu

The reason I needed to get a new one for this year is because I’ve gained weight… for those who know me personally, I’m pretty sure you are all asking “what weight”? Well, I have… in all the wrong places… it’s one of those things (along with losing my hair) that I’ve always dreaded… my waist is now 33”… now that doesn’t sound bad, but consider the fact that I used to have a 28” waist…

I would like to say that the extra inches are from my ‘two-pack abs’ which has grown because of my time in the gym… let’s give it a good 2”… the rest, I’m afraid is flab!!

My day didn’t end there… I went for lunch at this biryani place on Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman… I’ve always liked the food there… and I haven’t been there in years… I would never pass up a chance to eat there whenever I was in the area…

Guess what? The food wasn’t as good as I remembered it! And the portions seem to have gotten smaller… I used to feel light headed after eating there because I ate too much… today, I was even a bit hungry afterwards…

I know you must be thinking that it’s because of my larger appetite nowadays… but seriously, it’s the size of the portions…

So there you go… in one day, two things that I didn’t think were ever going to change… well… changed…

In this fast paced world, change is of course inevitable… it’s the buzzword in the corporate world… heck, part of my job is change management… We know we need change, we know we need to change, but are we really prepared?

Of course it’s easier to say that we are in the workplace… we’ve got process flows, charts, diagrams, subject matter experts, consultants, market intelligence, blah blah blah… but what about in your personal life? Are you ready to deal with the changes there?

Take me for example… I used to smoke much more than I do now… could play sports once a year and have all the stamina required… heck, when I was playing softball during my undergrad days, I used to have a smoke with the pitcher at the end of innings… drove the coach nuts! But look at me now… I do smoke a lot less… but put me on a treadmill for more than five minutes, and I’ll be scrambling to find an oxygen tank… (actual words from me to my personal trainer at the gym : PLEASE!!! I’M DYING!!! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! *pant *pant).

We seem to never be ready for the changes in our personal life… you, as a person will change over time… the dynamics of your relationships will change over time… and you can’t expect things to always be the same. How many couples do you know used to be fun and outgoing, but now just sit at home and don’t mix around anymore…? How many couples do you know aren’t even together anymore?

We have to realize that change is not restricted to your professional life… if you don’t manage change properly at work, then at most is you take a few steps back in your career… nothing that you can’t get back… if you don’t manage change in your personal life, well… bonds relationships are harder to replace…

I really need to go to the gym...

Some Things Never Change

I started this blog thinking that I would change as I get older... maybe be a little more laid back, a little more mature... but after a year of my 30's, I've realized that people don't change.

You are the same person you are now that you were when you were born. If you were happy when you were a kid, then you are most likely a bubbly person now. If you were boring as a kid... well, you get the picture...

I've found that I still have the same traits I had when I was a kid... I crave attention, I'm very sensitive, I have my mood swings, I have a lot of love to give and I require that love to be reciprocated. So much for becoming more mature, eh?

Don't start thinking how you've changed over the years... because you haven't. None of us do... we are creatures of habit. That's why people make the same mistakes again and again... you learn from your mistakes, but you are just driven to do it all over again.

This becomes a problem in relationships... we try to change our partners to suit our needs. We tell them how certain things are important to us, and they should make that change in their lives because you would do the same for them... that's what love is, isn't it? Sacrifice, give and take....

If you can't change yourself, then what makes you think you can change others?

Of course we try to cater to our partners... the most simple example would be to drop a bad habit like smoking... I've seen friends who 'quit smoking' because their partner doesn't approve... but give them a single opportunity, and they'll be puffing away like there's no tomorrow...

You can only change for yourself, not for others. We weren't built like that. Yes, we adapt... but are we totally happy with that adaptation? Or are we just lying to ourselves?

So here's my two cents... if you love a person, don't expect them to change for you... accept their 'shortcomings'... go ahead and be miserable... because your love for them would cancel out that misery...

Kind of depressing, don't you think? But if you've ever been in love, you know that love hurts...

Hehehe... I couldn't resist... this song's been stuck in my head for many years now.

There's got to be a point to this post, right... so here it is...

We are creatures of habit and will never change... you can try, but whether or not you'll be happy after changing is still up for debate. So just learn to love yourself.... cause no matter how awful you are, somebody loves you just the way you are...