Some Things Always Change…

I was downtown just now to get myself a new ‘baju melayu’… for those who don’t know what that is, it’s the traditional Malay outfit… mainly it’s used for special occasions nowadays, though some people still wear it on a daily basis.

I haven’t gotten a new one in years… in fact, the last time I had one made was when I got married. After that, I’ve just been reusing the few that I have… the reason is, well, I use it only twice a year. Kind of a waste of money to buy a new one every year… And the ones I get are not exactly cheap. I always get mine tailor made out of satin, at the same tailor I’ve been going to since I was small. And that’s not even including the ‘samping songket’ that goes along with it… I’m not that good at explaining things like that so here’s the wiki link for it à http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baju_Melayu

The reason I needed to get a new one for this year is because I’ve gained weight… for those who know me personally, I’m pretty sure you are all asking “what weight”? Well, I have… in all the wrong places… it’s one of those things (along with losing my hair) that I’ve always dreaded… my waist is now 33”… now that doesn’t sound bad, but consider the fact that I used to have a 28” waist…

I would like to say that the extra inches are from my ‘two-pack abs’ which has grown because of my time in the gym… let’s give it a good 2”… the rest, I’m afraid is flab!!

My day didn’t end there… I went for lunch at this biryani place on Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman… I’ve always liked the food there… and I haven’t been there in years… I would never pass up a chance to eat there whenever I was in the area…

Guess what? The food wasn’t as good as I remembered it! And the portions seem to have gotten smaller… I used to feel light headed after eating there because I ate too much… today, I was even a bit hungry afterwards…

I know you must be thinking that it’s because of my larger appetite nowadays… but seriously, it’s the size of the portions…

So there you go… in one day, two things that I didn’t think were ever going to change… well… changed…

In this fast paced world, change is of course inevitable… it’s the buzzword in the corporate world… heck, part of my job is change management… We know we need change, we know we need to change, but are we really prepared?

Of course it’s easier to say that we are in the workplace… we’ve got process flows, charts, diagrams, subject matter experts, consultants, market intelligence, blah blah blah… but what about in your personal life? Are you ready to deal with the changes there?

Take me for example… I used to smoke much more than I do now… could play sports once a year and have all the stamina required… heck, when I was playing softball during my undergrad days, I used to have a smoke with the pitcher at the end of innings… drove the coach nuts! But look at me now… I do smoke a lot less… but put me on a treadmill for more than five minutes, and I’ll be scrambling to find an oxygen tank… (actual words from me to my personal trainer at the gym : PLEASE!!! I’M DYING!!! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! *pant *pant).

We seem to never be ready for the changes in our personal life… you, as a person will change over time… the dynamics of your relationships will change over time… and you can’t expect things to always be the same. How many couples do you know used to be fun and outgoing, but now just sit at home and don’t mix around anymore…? How many couples do you know aren’t even together anymore?

We have to realize that change is not restricted to your professional life… if you don’t manage change properly at work, then at most is you take a few steps back in your career… nothing that you can’t get back… if you don’t manage change in your personal life, well… bonds relationships are harder to replace…

I really need to go to the gym...

Thats mean you understand! Congrates!

I would consider myself lucky. I was born into a family that speaks English at home. I was then brought up in Canada… so I would say that my spoken and written English can be considered ‘excellent’… Please don’t think that I’m vain… I’m just repeating what others said. I wouldn’t say my English is perfect… in fact, I don’t know a single grammar rule! Everything just ‘sounds right’…

Just now, I was helping my son with his homework (my son’s only in kindergarten, but he seems to have a truckload of homework every day), when he suddenly used the phrase “thats mean”… I almost blew a gasket…

For those who don’t know why I was so upset, the proper phrase should be “that means”… but it seems that half of the country gets it wrong… it’s embedded in Malaysian culture… culture is something that is the hardest to change… and I would say your culture will depend on where you’ve spent the most of your ‘learning years’… mine is a mixture of both Canadian and Malaysian culture (making me weirder than most…)

I’ve tried to make sure that my son doesn’t pick up these ‘unsavory’ aspects of Malaysian culture… I’ve always spoken to him in proper English… he only watches shows on Disney Channel, etc… My family speaks to him in proper English… you would think he would be well versed by now…

Unfortunately, I can’t keep him in a bubble his whole life… he has to go to school and be exposed to naughty kids, germs and viruses and of course, bad grammar...

I’m starting to feel that I send him out into the world to learn new things and gain new experiences, but at the same time, I wait for him to come home so I can undo the negative aspects… be it the flu virus, or the occasional bad grammar.

I know I can’t protect him forever… I just hope that I can provide him with enough of a foundation for him to take care of himself in the future…

On a lighter note, my son has been sitting beside me while I write this post… he asked what I was doing, so I told him that I was writing about him in my blog… took me a while to explain what a blog was… his conclusion – “I’m going to be in a novel?”

Soon, son...

My Blood Go Upstairs

I have very distinct physical signs when I’m stressed. One, my insomnia gets even worse… and two, my face breaks out like a young boy who just entered puberty.

I have been sleeping relatively well… any lack of sleep nowadays is really due to the fact that I’ve been very busy… What can I say, I’m popular… (I was going to say something corny like “everybody wants a piece of the Syam-ster”... but I have my standards when writing…)

My face however is a different story… ok, the condition isn’t that bad… it’s just the one zit… but it’s still annoying…

See, here’s the problem… I’m breaking out because I’m stressed… I know that because I’m definitely antsy… But I don’t know why I’m stressed! I’ve been trying to figure it out for the past week. I haven’t been writing for the past week because my mind’s occupied with trying to figure out why I’m stressed. Does this make sense to you?

Let’s go over what may be stressing me out…

First of all, I’m back in KL, and I don’t think I’ve been happier in the past 2 years… things are definitely different from the way I left it, but definitely different in a good way…

Second, I examined my work life… I’ve been getting more responsibilities at work, but I look at that as compliment from my boss. I’ve always felt that when your boss gives you more work and responsibilities, it’s his/her way of saying that ‘your work is excellent and you are trustworthy, so I entrust this new responsibility on you’. So, I would say that my career is on great path…

Personal life… well, who are we kidding… who wouldn’t love me? I do feel like I’m surrounded by people who love and care for me… I don’t feel anybody is hurting me in any way… I may get a bit stressed trying to slot everybody in… as they say, ‘everybody wants a piece of the Syam-ster’… (yeah, there’s no real quality to this writing)…

So what’s bugging me? My friends have suggested that I’m getting stressed out because I have no idea what’s stressing me out. With my slight OCD, that is just possible…

Relieving stress is not something I’m really good at. I’m the type that keeps things bottled up (though this time, I have no idea what’s in the bottle). I get all sorts of advice from people on how to relieve the pressure… they range from the obvious “turn to God”, to the absolutely insane “drop everything and move to a different country”… to tell you the truth, the latter seems to be a very interesting idea… but I’ll just get stressed with the planning…

Maybe I should just look at the great things happening in my life nowadays… I should be thankful for all that has gone right for me… those things would definitely dwarf all those things that are stressing me out, even the imaginary ones.