Quirks

I’ve got a little problem. Actually, I’ve got about a hundred ‘little problems’. I have little quirks… for example, whenever I’m on the phone; I have this incredible urge to pace back and forth. I do this even when I’m in the office. It’s a good thing I’ve got quite a bit of space right beside my cubicle… and sometimes if there are floor tiles, I’ll follow the pattern of the tile. Thankfully, most floor tiles are square… if they were curved, then I would look like I was drunk…

This is just the tip of the iceberg. You should see the neat little squares that I make from the Fillet-o-Fish wrappers at McDonalds. Friends have noticed this and just wait for me to finish my meal and start laughing when I begin folding…

I think I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I ‘think’ I have it because I’ve never actually gotten tested. There’s something about going to a certified medical practitioner and being told that you have a mental disorder… I doubt it’s going to be happy news. I used to write it of to just habit, but I get really agitated if I don’t do these little things.

So one day, I decided to look up the symptoms… and damn it, I’m as loony as a toon. I suffer from more than half of the symptoms. But I still don’t think I should go see a psychiatrist or psychologist. I only have a very mild case of OCD. (When did I graduate from medical school!?)

I’ve learned to live with my ‘quirks’. Though sometimes people do catch me doing weird things… an example would be there are times when I have this sudden urge to say a particular word. I know I’m in a public place, so I start saying it in my head… it goes something like this…

Inner Voice : Apple…apple… apple………appleappleapple…. AAAAAAAAApple… apple… ple ple ple…. PLE !

I then start mouthing the words… sometimes, if I’m unlucky, I accidentally say it out loud… after which I start humming or singing, just to cover up. People sing for no reason, right?

People around me will ask me questions like “why are you so happy?” or “what’s with the singing?”… I just tell them the song is stuck in my head… though, I know they are wondering since when does the lyrics have the word ‘apple’ in it…

I’m not alone though… there are people in my family who ‘suffer’ from the same problem. I won’t mention who they are though, since they might not be better at covering it up and are quite happy with people not knowing about it… I actually have a family member who used to wash her hands non-stop… she would be there at the sink until somebody tells her to stop… it got to a point where the skin on her hands were in really bad shape because of excessive washing. (I guess there is such a thing as ‘too clean’.)

I guess it’s not really that bad… I don’t have the urge to touch every street light as I walk down the street (well, not that often, anyway). But I think these little quirks make me who I am. It adds yet another dimension to my personality. Quite a number of people are entertained by my quirks… so if it doesn’t hurt me, yet brings joy to other normal (and boring) people, then I guess it’s a good thing.

Of course, can’t forget another silver lining to this so called cloud. In some cases, OCD will cause the ‘sufferer’ to have above average intelligence… I’ll just leave it at that…

What I’m trying to say is, be happy with who you are. Society has come up with a lot of ways to classify a person, both good and bad with relation to the ‘norm’. But you have to realize that it doesn’t matter what others say. What’s important is what you think and how you feel about yourself. Look at me… I may have a mental disorder, and I like it. Makes it easier to find happiness this way…

Enuff said… said… said… saidsaidsaid….sa-yed… saaaaaa-yeeeed…