Bullies...

I've always believed kids should be disciplined... It was the way I was brought up. When I was growing up, there was a list 32-pages long that outlined everything that I CANNOT do... ok, I'm making that up. There was no list. Simply put, I had a very strict dad...

I have passed everything down to my son, in a sense that I'm very strict. And one of the things I've taught my son was how to treat others... as in do not fight with other kids, no hitting, etc...

Now here's my problem... because of the way I've raised my son, he has no idea how to deal with bullies in school. My son is being bullied!!

He just started kindergarten in January. This is his first time 'mixing' with other kids. I've had a maid since he was very small, and before that he would stay with my parents during the day. His only friends have always been his cousins. He was the youngest up until recently when my younger sister had a baby. So all his cousins would really take care of him... it's either a sense of responsibility on their part, or they are just afraid of me (I could be quite fierce with kids).

Anyway, my son has come home numerous times with cuts from falling down. Upon 'investigation' (hard to get a straight answer from a 5-year old), it seems that his 'friends' were almost always the cause of his falls... Now you can always assume they were goofing around and he accidentally fell, but last Friday, it seems that one of his friends slapped him in the face...

Now here's the dilemma... should I erase the discipline I've instilled in him for the past 5 years and tell him to just beat the crap out of his friends, or should I tell him to just tell the teacher (which he doesn't seem to do... I've spoken to the teachers before and they had no idea... my son has never 'reported' any of the incidents).

I'm actually at a point that I want to pack a small metal pipe in his bag and tell him to 'defend himself'... but that's just not the type of person I want my son to be... I don't know how to advise him since, well, I've never been bullied...

Now you may be surprised to learn that I've never been bullied... I'm underweight now... so imagine me in school... plus, you throw in the good grades in school, and interests in things which would be considered 'uncool' (such as Star Trek - though I wouldn't call myself a 'trekkie' and walk around saying "live long and prosper").

I guess there were two factors that determined my 'bully-less' school days...

First, I grew up in Toronto. Now I'm not sure how it is in other places, but in Toronto, there were a lot of primary shools... so that meant that each 'graduating' class was only around 20-30 people. That made everybody quite close... so by the time I got to high school, I suddenly found myself still mixing around with the people who ended up in the 'cool' group... So I was, for lack of a better term, 'cool by association'... that also meant that I go way back with even the bullies... in other words, I knew 'low people in high places'...

The second factor was the education system in Canada. In high school, you get to choose your elective subjects... So I took things that interest me such as drama class (I still love to act), gym class (I'm not that bad at sports... not good either, but still not bad), and shop class (nothing more macho than to work with oxy-aceteline torches and car engines). And amazingly, the cool kids took those as well... I also tried out for the varsity baseball team (I didn't make the cut, but with good reasons... the seniors had arms bigger than my thighs... there's no way I can throw further/faster than them). I guess the fact that I tried showed that I have balls... that's like currency in high school...

I did have friends that came from schools outside the district, took boring classes, didn't play sports, but yet had interests which were deemed 'nerdy'... felt sorry for them, but nothing I could have done...

Now back to my son's dilemma. I can't apply any of the things I did in school to his situation. I don't want him to resort to violence... I want him to be like me... a lover, not a fighter ;)...

I guess I'll have to go talk to his teachers again. He's still young, so I doubt he'll mind having his dad fight his battle for him... SuperDad to the rescue!!