She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not..

"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others, how much they love them while they're alive." O.A. Battista

Have you ever played that game where you pull out petals from a flower, each time saying 'he/she loves me... he/she loves me not'... with the final petal telling you whether that person is in love with you or not? Usually it's played by people who have a crush on somebody but has no idea how the other person feels about them...

It's easier to make things up in your mind... or let flowers decide the direction of the so called relationship rather than actually saying something to that person... only problem is, it's not real... but then again, it's not risky...

I've always been a firm believer in being straight to the point and actually telling the person that you like them and would like to explore the possibility of the relationship being more than just friends...

Of course, being a firm believer in something doesn't always mean that you 'walk the talk'...

In my younger and foolish days (this was a very, very, very long time ago... I'm now older and foolish, but that's different story), I used to have a problem telling a girl I liked her and would leave it at that… I used to be the ‘One Date King’. I would ask a girl out, go on the date and then it would end there. A lot of things would go through my mind such as ‘does she like me enough to go on a second date’, ‘would she say no if I asked her out again’, ‘do the both of us even click?’, and the ever popular ‘what if she wants to only be friends?’. Suffice to say, I had very low self esteem. This was, of course, just ridiculous, considering the fact that I’m so extremely charming!

This was sad because I was not giving myself, the girl, or the possible relationship a chance… I nipped it in the bud before a hypothetical disaster might happen.

Being a guy adds extra pressure. A guy is supposed to be the one who initiates the whole thing… he’s the one who should put his dignity on the line and say ‘I like you’…

This is, of course, totally unfair… women have been asking for equal rights and responsibilities in society, and this is one responsibility I would gladly share with the fairer sex. Unfortunately though, not many women are up to the challenge. Why is that?

I posed this question to a girl about 14 years ago… and she told me that it’s not easy for girls take on the role of ‘initiator’… society (back then anyway) wasn’t ready for girls to be that straight forward. There’s a Malay saying, perigi cari timba, which loosely translates to ‘the well went looking for the bucket’ (I think…). The girl in question, had in the past, told a guy her feelings towards him… the guy freaked out and pretty much rejected her… after that, she was ashamed of her actions and worried about what people would say about her…

That’s really sad… personally, I would take it as a compliment if a girl went up to me and told me they liked me and would like to take the relationship further… it has happened before, and even though I was not interested, I didn’t get freaked out, and still remained friends with them. I would respect her for having the courage to do something that I am too scared of doing. The guy who freaked out and rejected her was, for lack of a better word, stupid for not recognizing how strong she is… also she’s quite pretty… how often do you get a chance to be with a pretty and strong woman? :P

Whether you’re a man or woman, if you do meet a person who you like, you should take the risk… jump off the deep end, head first… if it doesn’t happen, then you wouldn’t have lost anything… you never had them in the first place. You could only gain from the experience.

I know it’s scary… I’ve passed up the opportunity countless times. But there’s no better way to conquer your fears and insecurities than to face it head on. You may think ‘but he just admitted to being scared of doing it as well’… but then again, I’m not single and available anymore, am I? When’s your turn to join the club?