As Luck Would Have It...

I've had a string of good things happening to me the last few months... I've been brought back to KL, I've been given the opportunity to head up something new in the company, I've been promoted at work, I've had a chance to catch up with old friends who I've missed during all that time I was in Penang, my son is doing well in preschool, I had a great vacation with some friends, I had a great vacation with my family, I've had a chance to try new things that I've always wanted to such as bungee jumping, go-kart, paintball... the sun is shining, weather is great when I'm outside, it rains only when I'm inside, and rainbows are everywhere...

As you can see, I've been a happy camper...

But there must always be two sides to a coin... and when it rains, it pours... let's see what I've been going through lately...

1. sprained my wrist and left it for two weeks... suddenly couldn't move my wrist without experiencing extreme pain... have been wearing a wrist brace for the last few days

2. the parking management at my office had some mix up and took down my reserved signage... people kept on taking my space whenever I went out for an appointment...

3. haze in KL triggered my asthma... have been walking around with a ventolin inhaler for the past few days...

4. an old summons wasn't on the online system for the past 2 days... suddenly I get blacklisted and I only found out 2 days before my driver's license expires... only managed to get my license renewed a few days after it expired

5. got into a car accident yesterday... my foot slips and hits the accelerator while stopped at a traffic light... and so happens the car was in drive...

6. there was intermittent blackouts in my neighbourhood yesterday... I bought candles and fresh batteries for the flashlight... and when I changed the batteries, the light bulb in the flash light burns out...

That's a list of the things I can remember... I'm sure there are smaller things that I didn't notice...

I was stressed out about the string of 'bad luck' that I've been having lately... it seemed like it would never end... but then something happened this evening... actually it started this morning...

This morning I took the guy I hit to the workshop to get a quote on how much the repairs on his car would cost... he could take half a day off work to get it done... turns out that the repairs would take the whole day... he couldn't take the whole day off because he had tonnes of work, but also because he just joined the company two months ago... so, since he was working in downtown KL, I decided to drop him off on my way to work, and then pick him up and take him to his car after work... after all, the accident was definitely my fault...

So the day went by without any 'incidences'... and sent him to his car... he was happy with the work the workshop did... he's happy that I helped him get to work and home... he even got some career advice for his wife who wants to change jobs...

So this is what I realized... it's not about how many bad things happen to you... it's how you deal with out... you can either choose to be in a bad mood and curse the awful luck, or you can make the best out of the situation and come out of it with a smile...

I know what I did for the guy wasn't much... after all, I was the root of his problems... but the fact that I helped to ease somebody's burden made me feel better about my life... I have a lot of good things going on in my life, and I'm able to share that with a total stranger... and I wouldn't have had that opportunity if I didn't have my string of bad luck that led to the accident.

I know my 'theory' is kinda shaky... but if you learn to look at the silver lining to every cloud, then you would generally be a happier person... and who wouldn't want that...

I'm feeling lucky... Genting, anyone?

I Am What I Am

Ideally, in love, you should accept the person for what he/she is… what makes love different than any other type of relationship is that it’s unconditional.

Take for an example the professional relationship you have with your boss. It’s based on your ability to provide a certain amount of work based on the amount of salary you get. If you don’t perform, you don’t say to your boss “but that’s the way I am, and you have to accept these shortcomings”… that would just get you one step closer to being fired…

From an initial observation, it would certainly seem that love is the best type of relationship… you don’t have to change… correct?

If that’s what you think, then you must be delusional…

Have you never heard of all those sappy love songs that go on and on about being a better person because they are in love? (an example of which is All 4 One’s “Better Man”). They all tell you that because you’re in love, you want to be a better person… because your loved one deserves an even better person than you already are.

But wait a minute… I thought that if you’re in love, then the other person will accept you for who you are, no matter how awful of a person you are… I bet Hitler’s wife loved him even though he did many bad things… So what’s the deal here? Are you supposed to change even though you don’t have to?

Here’s my two-cents worth (it may be worth less than that because I don’t seem to make any money off this blog)… just because you don’t have to change, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to be a better person… if being a better person will make your loved one happier, than why not do it?

Of course, whether you succeed in being a better person or not is secondary… the fact that you try makes all the difference… if you end up a failure when it comes to changing, then your loved one will accept you for who you are… but if you don’t care what your loved one thinks about you, and you don’t try… well, then it just makes you a total loser… a person who doesn’t even try…

Let me give you an example… (since I’m also quite confused with what I’ve written…)

Let’s say you have only passed secondary school… you work as a clerk, earning very little… you meet the girl of your dreams and you want to start a family… so you start thinking about how you will be able to support this family… you can:

a) a) Do absolutely nothing about it, and just tell your wife to be that the both of you are going to have a tougher than average life, but you both love each other no matter what

b) b) Go take night classes and earn your degree, get a better paying job and make your life together a bit easier…

c) c) Go take night classes, fail and still be in the same situation as before… so you tell your wife to be that the both of you are going to have a tougher than average life, but you both love each other no matter what

Now, I’m sure your loved one will love you regardless of which option happens… but option a) will surely piss them off… option c) would mean that you are stuck, but at least the person tried their best… and then it makes sense for them to love you, even though you are a failure… because that’s who you are…

It all comes down to whether you put in an effort or not... after all, love, like everything else in life, is something you work at...

So are you a failure or a loser?