Spoiled

I always write with the assumption that my readers actually know everything about me. Amazingly, I do get random visitors from cyberspace who don’t have a clue who I am. I would think that totally ignoring them and not giving a short background story before rambling on about an aspect of my life would be, for lack of a better word, stupid. That would be like turning on the tv and watching ‘Lost’ for the first time and starting at episode 27. You would lose interest pretty quickly...

So here’s a little background on me... (I’m not going to go on and on about my entire life story, just the part that has something to do with this blog post).

I do NOT like kids. I think they are messy, noisy, etc , etc... When I was younger, I would always say that the minimum number of kids I’ll have is none, with a maximum of one. Now you have to understand something... it’s not that I hate them and run away screaming when I see one. I’m actually quite nice to them (because it would be impolite to be otherwise)... and they seem to love me... really, they won’t stop hanging around me...

Now, I do have nieces and nephews who read my blog... you guys are probably saying “OMG! He HATES us!!” So before you go all grumpy on me, let me clarify something... I love you guys because you’re family... I’m just not too wild with the fact that you’re kids...

Anyway, back to me... even though I don’t like kids, I do have one... a five-year old boy... the love of my life... there are no words that can describe how much I love my son (you parents know what I mean). To me, he’ll always be my baby boy, and I love that he’s the cute kid that he is...

Now that you’ve got the background, let’s get on with the story...

I was at McDonalds with my son on Friday... it was just the two of us... so it went as usual... he wanted fries, so I made him promise to eat the main meal as well. Got him a happy meal... etc etc....

Anyway, I set everything up for him, so he started eating his fries. Now, he did not touch his fried chicken (we’ll debate eating fried chicken at a burger place instead of a fried chicken place later)... so I had to break of pieces of the chicken and ‘feed’ him... then I realised something...

He’s five-years old... he’s already going to school... he can count, add, subtract, read some words, write some words, play video games, watch videos on ‘YouTube’ (I’m not kidding... just load the page for him and he’ll browse through the videos he wants... he can spell the names of the cartoons he likes, so he can do a search), lecture me on the harmful effects of smoking and recommend a nicotine patch, and read a story to younger kids (this just happened a few hours ago at my sister’s open house... he faked it though... held a book and told a totally different story that he had memorised from one of his own books). But he will not feed himself for the main course. He’s only ok with side dishes and snacks.

The reason for this is, he is spoiled!

My bad...

I have had this great urge to spoil my son ever since he was born. He will get pretty much everything that he asks for. What makes it easier for me is the fact that he’s so well behaved. He’ll ask nicely... and if I don’t give him something (with a valid excuse, of course), then he won’t throw a tantrum... he might try to bargain (“just one time”), accept the answer (with a cute “ok”), or make a really sad face with the occasional tear (note that it’s ONE tear)... how could you not say yes to that?

I know... it’s not good to spoil your child, but I can’t help myself... I guess it’s how I was raised... you see, my dad spoiled me... he spoils all his kids, but I get extra special treatment. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m his only son...

Now don’t get me wrong... my dad was (and still is) very strict with kids... he’s the scariest person I know. I’m pretty sure my son thinks the same way (he doesn’t really dare to misbehave when I’m around.

Anyway, back to my dad... from the stories my sisters would tell about me, it seems that I was really spoiled as a child... I got away with everything... but then, I turned out to be quite a well behaved kid. I guess it’s the balance between spoiling and being strict.

My dad’s habit of spoiling me didn’t stop when I became a ‘young adult’... when I was doing my degree, my grades were slipping... I was staying on campus and had a bit too much fun... so to punish me and get me back on track, my dad... wait for it... bought me a car...

Errr....

His logic behind it was so I can stay at home and drive to campus... that way he can ‘keep an eye’ on me... yeah right! But amazingly, even though with a car I had a heck of a lot more fun, my grades did improve...

I see a lot of similarities in my dad’s and my parenting style... there’s some weird logic going on there, but it turns out well in the end... I would like to think that I turned out ok... and my son is one of the most well behaved and well rounded kids I know.

Who would have guessed that a person who doesn’t like kids would end up being a very doting father...?

Our Kids

About a week ago, we finished the fasting month and celebrated Eid (or Hari Raya in Malay).  The whole celebration is still ongoing to this day.  It’s a month of celebration after the month of fasting… it’s a good way for me to re-gain the weight I lost over the past two months.   

Since it’s a month of celebration, I should write something cheerful… I plan to, but not today… instead, I’m going to tell you guys about an experience I had during the fasting month… it’s one of those moments that change your perception on life…

During the fasting month, my client organized a trip to an orphanage.  They do this kind of things all the time during the year, but this is the first time that I found the time to join.  

The truth is this was the first time I’ve ever been to an orphanage… I didn’t know what to expect.  I was thinking we would go there, bring some stuff for the kids, give the money they collected from the staff, have dinner with them and go home…

When we got there, the kids looked extremely happy that they had visitors.  They didn’t really notice the supplies that we brought them… they were more interested in us!!  They were shy, but wanted to get as close as possible to the ‘visitors’…

We all sat on the floor while there were some short speeches from the people in charge of the orphanage as well as the organizing committee… I know for a fact that when I sat down, the kids were no where near me… a few minutes into the speeches, I looked down and saw two kids cozying up to me!  One sat to my side and one in front of me… the one in front kept on turning around and smiling every time I looked at him… you can’t help but smile back…

The whole time we were there, the kids wanted to be as close to us as possible… at first I couldn’t figure out why… then it hit me…

I shower my son with hugs and kisses whenever we are together… it’s not limited to just when we are at home… even when we are out shopping, at the movies, etc… and it’s reciprocated by my son… he hugs and kisses me all the time (well, almost all the time… he doesn’t acknowledge me when he’s in front of his friends at school!).

We take this simple act for granted… everyday we get love, affection and attention from our family… both physically and emotionally.  These kids grow up without it. 

Sure they have their caregivers… but there’s one old couple who’s taking care of 20+ orphans of all ages.  I’m pretty sure they can’t get around and give everybody a hug every day…

You go through life putting money into a donation box, never really giving the orphans a second thought… sure they need your financial support to survive physically, but they also need you love and attention to survive emotionally…

These kids don’t have parents, so we should start thinking of them as our kids… it’s not something that’s hard to achieve… make your way to an orphanage, and you’ll understand what I mean.