Have you ever heard women say “_______ is a great guy… he’s such a great listener”? It seems that one of the best qualities a man can posses is the ability to listen… at least according to women. It’s just incredible that one of the best ways into a woman’s heart is just to shut up and listen… easier said than done though.
Well, I’m going to write something that will make some men angry and burst the bubble for some women… (in other words, I’m going to tell a secret about men which some women have not figured out).
Most of those great guys who are great listeners, aren’t really listening!!!
Women : *gasp
Men : *groan
I’m not saying that we men only pretend to listen all the time… we just pretend to listen some of the time. Most of the things women say are interesting (why do I hear guys laughing as I type that sentence??). Sometimes women talk about stuff that isn’t that interesting to us. So we pretend to listen as not to offend you. (Does that make it sound better to you girls?)
This is how it works… first, you need to have the right face. If the girl is telling a ‘happy’ story, then have a little grin on your face… if the girl is telling a ‘sad’ story, you should have a look of concern on your face. Next, nod occasionally. Now this is the most important part. Pick a random sentence the girl just said and turn it into a question. Example, ‘When I got to the cashier, I found out that the shoes were on sale!’ is followed by ‘the shoes were on sale?’ It gives an appearance that you’re actually listening.
Other than those random ‘questions’, the guy’s thoughts will be wondering somewhere else, with topics such as the economic crisis, bank interest rates, and the influx of illegal foreign workers… never would a guy think of inappropriate things such as other girls, sex, and weekend parties… (disclaimer : I can only speak for myself. I don’t know what other guys think about… we never discuss such things… because were MEN!)
Why do I have the feeling I’m going to get beaten up by a mob of angry guys for writing this?
All jokes aside, listening skills are an important skill set the both men and women must have. Men also like it when other people listen to what they have to say… I believe it’s our need to be acknowledged and accepted by society.
Whether you want to admit it or not, everybody likes to be the center of attention. I know there are some of you who will disagree with me. You will say that you like to keep a ‘low profile’. It’s not that you don’t crave attention… you only want it from certain people, like your loved ones.
Listening (actual listening, not pretending to listen) provides you with crucial information to help you decide your next course of action. In other words, you don’t piss off your partner by doing something they don’t like.
Personal life isn’t the only place listening will help. Your professional life will surely improve if you learn to listen. The first thing they teach you in sales is you have to listen to your client… it’s easier to sell them something they actually want… you can only find out what that is if you listen…
I have improved relations with my clients on numerous occasions by just listening to their needs… and not even providing them with a solution. For most people, even though you aren’t able to cater to their needs, they still feel you have done your best if you actually listened to them and understood their concerns… we can set rules in business, but business is still run by humans with emotional needs…
In short, listen to what I have to say next time…
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Retro
When I was much younger, my dad would buy ‘best of’ CDs… such as Best of Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck, ABBA, Boney M… and I would listen to these CDs and think to myself “these ‘classic’ songs are great”… the word ‘classic’ or ‘retro’ were used to describe those songs… and it was fine then… because I mainly listened to the ‘top 40’ hits on radio and occasionally put on a ‘retro’ CD…
Never did it occur to me that those ‘classics’ were actually ‘top 40’ when my dad was young… all I heard from my dad was how those songs were much better than the ‘garbage’ that I listened to… I just laughed it off, thinking my dad was just out of date…
Now however things have slowly started to change… the music I listened to is now considered ‘retro’… some songs, like Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana is even considered a ‘classic’!!
How the heck did that happen!?
A couple of months back, I was heading back to KL. So the band wouldn’t have a singer during that week’s jamming session… so one of the guys asked his friend to sing for that week… she looked through the song book and had not heard of most of the songs there… there were comments like “I think I’ve heard this song before… but who’s this Pearl Jam?” Obviously, she was much younger than me… what are we teaching in schools that kids don’t know who Pearl Jam is?
Now when they say ‘retro’, their talking about songs from my ‘youth’…
Then it hit me… I’m old… whenever they have a retro themed show on the radio, I find myself saying ‘aahhhhh, I know this song!! Haven’t heard it in a long time!’
Another thing is, I can’t seem to enjoy listening to songs that my nieces and nephews listen to… it’s just ‘garbage’…
OMG, I’m my dad!!! (That’s a scarier thought than the fact that I’m not young anymore).
I guess we can add ‘likes retro songs’ to the list of things that tell you you’re ‘not young anymore’…
Never did it occur to me that those ‘classics’ were actually ‘top 40’ when my dad was young… all I heard from my dad was how those songs were much better than the ‘garbage’ that I listened to… I just laughed it off, thinking my dad was just out of date…
Now however things have slowly started to change… the music I listened to is now considered ‘retro’… some songs, like Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana is even considered a ‘classic’!!
How the heck did that happen!?
A couple of months back, I was heading back to KL. So the band wouldn’t have a singer during that week’s jamming session… so one of the guys asked his friend to sing for that week… she looked through the song book and had not heard of most of the songs there… there were comments like “I think I’ve heard this song before… but who’s this Pearl Jam?” Obviously, she was much younger than me… what are we teaching in schools that kids don’t know who Pearl Jam is?
Now when they say ‘retro’, their talking about songs from my ‘youth’…
Then it hit me… I’m old… whenever they have a retro themed show on the radio, I find myself saying ‘aahhhhh, I know this song!! Haven’t heard it in a long time!’
Another thing is, I can’t seem to enjoy listening to songs that my nieces and nephews listen to… it’s just ‘garbage’…
OMG, I’m my dad!!! (That’s a scarier thought than the fact that I’m not young anymore).
I guess we can add ‘likes retro songs’ to the list of things that tell you you’re ‘not young anymore’…
Thursday, April 22, 2010
She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not..
"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others, how much they love them while they're alive." O.A. Battista
Have you ever played that game where you pull out petals from a flower, each time saying 'he/she loves me... he/she loves me not'... with the final petal telling you whether that person is in love with you or not? Usually it's played by people who have a crush on somebody but has no idea how the other person feels about them...
It's easier to make things up in your mind... or let flowers decide the direction of the so called relationship rather than actually saying something to that person... only problem is, it's not real... but then again, it's not risky...
I've always been a firm believer in being straight to the point and actually telling the person that you like them and would like to explore the possibility of the relationship being more than just friends...
Of course, being a firm believer in something doesn't always mean that you 'walk the talk'...
In my younger and foolish days (this was a very, very, very long time ago... I'm now older and foolish, but that's different story), I used to have a problem telling a girl I liked her and would leave it at that… I used to be the ‘One Date King’. I would ask a girl out, go on the date and then it would end there. A lot of things would go through my mind such as ‘does she like me enough to go on a second date’, ‘would she say no if I asked her out again’, ‘do the both of us even click?’, and the ever popular ‘what if she wants to only be friends?’. Suffice to say, I had very low self esteem. This was, of course, just ridiculous, considering the fact that I’m so extremely charming!
This was sad because I was not giving myself, the girl, or the possible relationship a chance… I nipped it in the bud before a hypothetical disaster might happen.
Being a guy adds extra pressure. A guy is supposed to be the one who initiates the whole thing… he’s the one who should put his dignity on the line and say ‘I like you’…
This is, of course, totally unfair… women have been asking for equal rights and responsibilities in society, and this is one responsibility I would gladly share with the fairer sex. Unfortunately though, not many women are up to the challenge. Why is that?
I posed this question to a girl about 14 years ago… and she told me that it’s not easy for girls take on the role of ‘initiator’… society (back then anyway) wasn’t ready for girls to be that straight forward. There’s a Malay saying, perigi cari timba, which loosely translates to ‘the well went looking for the bucket’ (I think…). The girl in question, had in the past, told a guy her feelings towards him… the guy freaked out and pretty much rejected her… after that, she was ashamed of her actions and worried about what people would say about her…
That’s really sad… personally, I would take it as a compliment if a girl went up to me and told me they liked me and would like to take the relationship further… it has happened before, and even though I was not interested, I didn’t get freaked out, and still remained friends with them. I would respect her for having the courage to do something that I am too scared of doing. The guy who freaked out and rejected her was, for lack of a better word, stupid for not recognizing how strong she is… also she’s quite pretty… how often do you get a chance to be with a pretty and strong woman? :P
Whether you’re a man or woman, if you do meet a person who you like, you should take the risk… jump off the deep end, head first… if it doesn’t happen, then you wouldn’t have lost anything… you never had them in the first place. You could only gain from the experience.
I know it’s scary… I’ve passed up the opportunity countless times. But there’s no better way to conquer your fears and insecurities than to face it head on. You may think ‘but he just admitted to being scared of doing it as well’… but then again, I’m not single and available anymore, am I? When’s your turn to join the club?
Have you ever played that game where you pull out petals from a flower, each time saying 'he/she loves me... he/she loves me not'... with the final petal telling you whether that person is in love with you or not? Usually it's played by people who have a crush on somebody but has no idea how the other person feels about them...
It's easier to make things up in your mind... or let flowers decide the direction of the so called relationship rather than actually saying something to that person... only problem is, it's not real... but then again, it's not risky...
I've always been a firm believer in being straight to the point and actually telling the person that you like them and would like to explore the possibility of the relationship being more than just friends...
Of course, being a firm believer in something doesn't always mean that you 'walk the talk'...
In my younger and foolish days (this was a very, very, very long time ago... I'm now older and foolish, but that's different story), I used to have a problem telling a girl I liked her and would leave it at that… I used to be the ‘One Date King’. I would ask a girl out, go on the date and then it would end there. A lot of things would go through my mind such as ‘does she like me enough to go on a second date’, ‘would she say no if I asked her out again’, ‘do the both of us even click?’, and the ever popular ‘what if she wants to only be friends?’. Suffice to say, I had very low self esteem. This was, of course, just ridiculous, considering the fact that I’m so extremely charming!
This was sad because I was not giving myself, the girl, or the possible relationship a chance… I nipped it in the bud before a hypothetical disaster might happen.
Being a guy adds extra pressure. A guy is supposed to be the one who initiates the whole thing… he’s the one who should put his dignity on the line and say ‘I like you’…
This is, of course, totally unfair… women have been asking for equal rights and responsibilities in society, and this is one responsibility I would gladly share with the fairer sex. Unfortunately though, not many women are up to the challenge. Why is that?
I posed this question to a girl about 14 years ago… and she told me that it’s not easy for girls take on the role of ‘initiator’… society (back then anyway) wasn’t ready for girls to be that straight forward. There’s a Malay saying, perigi cari timba, which loosely translates to ‘the well went looking for the bucket’ (I think…). The girl in question, had in the past, told a guy her feelings towards him… the guy freaked out and pretty much rejected her… after that, she was ashamed of her actions and worried about what people would say about her…
That’s really sad… personally, I would take it as a compliment if a girl went up to me and told me they liked me and would like to take the relationship further… it has happened before, and even though I was not interested, I didn’t get freaked out, and still remained friends with them. I would respect her for having the courage to do something that I am too scared of doing. The guy who freaked out and rejected her was, for lack of a better word, stupid for not recognizing how strong she is… also she’s quite pretty… how often do you get a chance to be with a pretty and strong woman? :P
Whether you’re a man or woman, if you do meet a person who you like, you should take the risk… jump off the deep end, head first… if it doesn’t happen, then you wouldn’t have lost anything… you never had them in the first place. You could only gain from the experience.
I know it’s scary… I’ve passed up the opportunity countless times. But there’s no better way to conquer your fears and insecurities than to face it head on. You may think ‘but he just admitted to being scared of doing it as well’… but then again, I’m not single and available anymore, am I? When’s your turn to join the club?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Unpacking My Bags
I had a conversation with one of my friends when we both started working… it was about people who travel on business. You see, during our younger (and ignorant) days, we both used to look at business travelers with complete awe… these smartly dressed people, going through airports, catching flights to ‘faraway lands’, carrying laptops (ok, during those days, very few people had them)… they all looked SO COOL!!
Then we started working, and were able to experience first hand what business travel feels like… IT’S TIRING!!
There’s a huge amount of time wasted waiting in airports, or on the road, most of it alone. Then of course, there’s frequency of travel. There was a time when I had a client in Kuching. What I did was I prepared everything on Monday, take the first flight out on Tuesday, then ‘worked’ until Thursday… take the late flight out that night itself… by the time I reach home, it’ll be close to midnight… Friday, I’ll be in the office, doing reports… rest over the weekend… Monday prepare for the next trip, and Tuesday, fly back out…
People who have never done business trips before may think that it’s ‘cool’ or ‘fun’… sometimes it is… you get to see different cities, meet different people… but for the most part, it’s tiring.
What I always look forward to at the end of my business trips is actually unpacking. It gives me that feeling of ‘yes, I’m finally home’… It’s a great feeling (for me, at least) to take all my stuff out of my bag(s) and put them where they belong (bathroom, wardrobe, drawer, laundry hamper, etc)… I have this feeling that when I’m finish with the unpacking, then I won’t be tired and uncomfortable and missing my loved ones anymore….
Now, last week I was back in KL…and I noticed something – I didn’t unpack when I got home… when I think about it, I haven’t unpacked for the past one year, since I went to Penang for work. My travel bag has always been left there with stuff in it… I take stuff out, and sometimes put stuff back in during my stay at home in KL… I do it for practical reasons… I don’t want to forget anything when I head back to Penang. Unfortunately, not unpacking has ‘emotional side effects’… I don’t get that full feeling of ‘relief’ when I get home…
Who would have guessed, a simple act such as unpacking has contributed so much to my emotional well being… I’ll definitely unpack properly the next time I’m home… though I better make a list so I won’t forget anything when I head back out…
Then we started working, and were able to experience first hand what business travel feels like… IT’S TIRING!!
There’s a huge amount of time wasted waiting in airports, or on the road, most of it alone. Then of course, there’s frequency of travel. There was a time when I had a client in Kuching. What I did was I prepared everything on Monday, take the first flight out on Tuesday, then ‘worked’ until Thursday… take the late flight out that night itself… by the time I reach home, it’ll be close to midnight… Friday, I’ll be in the office, doing reports… rest over the weekend… Monday prepare for the next trip, and Tuesday, fly back out…
People who have never done business trips before may think that it’s ‘cool’ or ‘fun’… sometimes it is… you get to see different cities, meet different people… but for the most part, it’s tiring.
What I always look forward to at the end of my business trips is actually unpacking. It gives me that feeling of ‘yes, I’m finally home’… It’s a great feeling (for me, at least) to take all my stuff out of my bag(s) and put them where they belong (bathroom, wardrobe, drawer, laundry hamper, etc)… I have this feeling that when I’m finish with the unpacking, then I won’t be tired and uncomfortable and missing my loved ones anymore….
Now, last week I was back in KL…and I noticed something – I didn’t unpack when I got home… when I think about it, I haven’t unpacked for the past one year, since I went to Penang for work. My travel bag has always been left there with stuff in it… I take stuff out, and sometimes put stuff back in during my stay at home in KL… I do it for practical reasons… I don’t want to forget anything when I head back to Penang. Unfortunately, not unpacking has ‘emotional side effects’… I don’t get that full feeling of ‘relief’ when I get home…
Who would have guessed, a simple act such as unpacking has contributed so much to my emotional well being… I’ll definitely unpack properly the next time I’m home… though I better make a list so I won’t forget anything when I head back out…
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Anger Management
I wrote this just over a year ago for the La Salle Old Boys Yahoo group (Lasoba)... I had just turned 29 at the time, so it sorts of reflects my current way of thinking. Thought I'd share it with you guys...
***************
People would say I'm a very pleasant person. In fact, people say that I'm down right charming. I am always 'happy'.
I try to keep it that way because it affects everybody's mood. If you are always cheerful, then everybody around you becomes cheerful as well.
But there are certain situations where I totally change into my alter ego... "The Angry Driver"...
As soon as I start driving, I don't take crap from anybody... you cut me off, you're dead... you cut queue, you're dead... you tailgate, you're dead...
It's a very bad thing... my blood pressure goes up... I am always angry... I'll pick a fight with every asshole that I find on the road... I get overly brave, in a stupid way...
And then, I saw the light...
This happened over a week ago... I gave my colleagues a ride to the train station after work. There was construction on the road so everybody's got to merge into the lane that I was in. I don't have a problem with letting people in, as long as they do it in a nice way. Suddenly, this Mercedes comes from behind and bullies his way in front of me, pushing me out of my lane. Obviously, HE MUST DIE!! So in situations like this, I would make it as hard as possible for him to move. In other words, the only way he can move forward is to get his car scratched on my side view mirror (obviously I've done this before).
After some creative maneuvering on his part, he manages to get free without scratching his car... later down the road, he slows down, and when I pass him, his window was open and he was saying something to me... I couldn't hear him because of the wind, but I assumed that he was continuing his quest to become an asshole.
Anyway, I drop off my colleagues at the train station and I see him parked behind me... does this guy really want a beating? He was an old man! Is he serious? Now this got me curious... if he wanted to fight, he would have come up to me... instead, he waited in his car....
So, I went up to him and asked him what his problem was? He said a few things, but what really stuck in my mind was "why are you so angry?"
And that got me thinking... why am I so angry??... in any other situation in my life, I would have given the other person the benefit of the doubt and thought nothing more of the situation... but when I'm driving, I totally cannot manage the anger... and there was no point to it. I don't gain anything from being angry... I just lose, in terms of my health...
So right there, at the side of the road, I decided I didn't want to be angry when driving anymore... so I appologised to him for losing my cool... I don't think I've ever appologised for anything that fast! ;)
I felt better... I felt free...
So why did this guy go through all this trouble, probably risking his life... I could have had a gun and walked up to his car and blown his head off...
Well, after feeling all better, I asked him his name... turned out to be one of the alumni from the high school I used to go to... he said that he recognised me, that we've actually met before... I can't recall... I just know him by name.
Now for the moral of the story... we've all got something that really pisses us off... whether it's driving, politicians, the economy, terrorists, your boss... but what's the point of getting all riled up about it? If you were to keep your emotions out of it, then you'll probably be able to come up with a way to solve your problem, instead of just complaining about it... you end up without high blood pressure, and you will have contributed to society...
So chill next time...
***************
People would say I'm a very pleasant person. In fact, people say that I'm down right charming. I am always 'happy'.
I try to keep it that way because it affects everybody's mood. If you are always cheerful, then everybody around you becomes cheerful as well.
But there are certain situations where I totally change into my alter ego... "The Angry Driver"...
As soon as I start driving, I don't take crap from anybody... you cut me off, you're dead... you cut queue, you're dead... you tailgate, you're dead...
It's a very bad thing... my blood pressure goes up... I am always angry... I'll pick a fight with every asshole that I find on the road... I get overly brave, in a stupid way...
And then, I saw the light...
This happened over a week ago... I gave my colleagues a ride to the train station after work. There was construction on the road so everybody's got to merge into the lane that I was in. I don't have a problem with letting people in, as long as they do it in a nice way. Suddenly, this Mercedes comes from behind and bullies his way in front of me, pushing me out of my lane. Obviously, HE MUST DIE!! So in situations like this, I would make it as hard as possible for him to move. In other words, the only way he can move forward is to get his car scratched on my side view mirror (obviously I've done this before).
After some creative maneuvering on his part, he manages to get free without scratching his car... later down the road, he slows down, and when I pass him, his window was open and he was saying something to me... I couldn't hear him because of the wind, but I assumed that he was continuing his quest to become an asshole.
Anyway, I drop off my colleagues at the train station and I see him parked behind me... does this guy really want a beating? He was an old man! Is he serious? Now this got me curious... if he wanted to fight, he would have come up to me... instead, he waited in his car....
So, I went up to him and asked him what his problem was? He said a few things, but what really stuck in my mind was "why are you so angry?"
And that got me thinking... why am I so angry??... in any other situation in my life, I would have given the other person the benefit of the doubt and thought nothing more of the situation... but when I'm driving, I totally cannot manage the anger... and there was no point to it. I don't gain anything from being angry... I just lose, in terms of my health...
So right there, at the side of the road, I decided I didn't want to be angry when driving anymore... so I appologised to him for losing my cool... I don't think I've ever appologised for anything that fast! ;)
I felt better... I felt free...
So why did this guy go through all this trouble, probably risking his life... I could have had a gun and walked up to his car and blown his head off...
Well, after feeling all better, I asked him his name... turned out to be one of the alumni from the high school I used to go to... he said that he recognised me, that we've actually met before... I can't recall... I just know him by name.
Now for the moral of the story... we've all got something that really pisses us off... whether it's driving, politicians, the economy, terrorists, your boss... but what's the point of getting all riled up about it? If you were to keep your emotions out of it, then you'll probably be able to come up with a way to solve your problem, instead of just complaining about it... you end up without high blood pressure, and you will have contributed to society...
So chill next time...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I have, for the last few years of my life, been afraid of losing my hair. If the hair loss is genetic, then I’m screwed! You see, my dad has been losing his hair since I can remember. An amazing fact, considering after 30 years of losing his hair, he’s still got a substantial amount of hair left. You can, however, see his shiny scalp.
My late uncle (my dad’s elder brother) only had hair around the sides of his head when he passed away around seven years ago… My cousin, who’s about 15 years older than me had started losing his hair many years ago. So if that’s any indication, then I better start worrying.
It’s not that I have really great ‘Fabio looking’ hair. It’s normal. But it’s one of those things that help to give me a ‘youthful appearance’. Some people still assume that I’m much younger… around 26-27. Heck, three years ago, bouncers at a club wanted to see my ID, thinking I was under 21! (Funny how when you were younger, you dread being asked for your ID… now you smile from ear to ear when they ask for it).
It’s not just the youthful appearance. You see, some people look good without hair. I have a friend who is ‘quite large’. He has been losing his hair since our university days. Fortunately, a bald head looks good on him because of his large size. Gives him a ‘macho’ appearance.
I’ve got another friend who is of average size. His balding head gives him a ‘mature aura’. He looks like he has fully experienced life and has a lot of wisdom to pass on to others.
Bald and skinny however DOES NOT WORK! I tried imagining it. My friends have tried imagining it. It looks BAAADDDDD!!!
So I’m now always ‘monitoring’ my hair… examining my hairline, just in case there’s any movement there. It’s not like I could do anything about it… it is, after all, genetic. I have however notice a slight upward movement in some areas… but then again, it could be paranoia.
Why can’t my dad pass down a more useful trait… such as a high confidence of himself or financial prudence… heck, I’ll settle for his better sense of direction… anything but his hair, or more accurately, his lack of hair.
My late uncle (my dad’s elder brother) only had hair around the sides of his head when he passed away around seven years ago… My cousin, who’s about 15 years older than me had started losing his hair many years ago. So if that’s any indication, then I better start worrying.
It’s not that I have really great ‘Fabio looking’ hair. It’s normal. But it’s one of those things that help to give me a ‘youthful appearance’. Some people still assume that I’m much younger… around 26-27. Heck, three years ago, bouncers at a club wanted to see my ID, thinking I was under 21! (Funny how when you were younger, you dread being asked for your ID… now you smile from ear to ear when they ask for it).
It’s not just the youthful appearance. You see, some people look good without hair. I have a friend who is ‘quite large’. He has been losing his hair since our university days. Fortunately, a bald head looks good on him because of his large size. Gives him a ‘macho’ appearance.
I’ve got another friend who is of average size. His balding head gives him a ‘mature aura’. He looks like he has fully experienced life and has a lot of wisdom to pass on to others.
Bald and skinny however DOES NOT WORK! I tried imagining it. My friends have tried imagining it. It looks BAAADDDDD!!!
So I’m now always ‘monitoring’ my hair… examining my hairline, just in case there’s any movement there. It’s not like I could do anything about it… it is, after all, genetic. I have however notice a slight upward movement in some areas… but then again, it could be paranoia.
Why can’t my dad pass down a more useful trait… such as a high confidence of himself or financial prudence… heck, I’ll settle for his better sense of direction… anything but his hair, or more accurately, his lack of hair.
I'm Fat
I’ve been considered underweight for basically my whole life. I’ve heard the usual jokes… ‘omg, I thought you were a lamppost’ or ‘careful, the wind is really strong today… you might want to hold on to something before you get blown away’…
So what I’ve been doing for the past one year is I’ve been going to a gym. I’ve got lots of time to burn in Penang, so might as well use the time to ‘buff up’. After almost a year of ‘pumping iron’, I’ve gained a total of… wait for it… 4kg! Bloody hell!!
I’m now a whopping 56kg. But because I’m freakishly tall (5’10” – ok, so I’m just normally tall), my BMI (Body Mass Index) puts me at ‘underweight’. That’s still good for me considering the fact that when I was in university, my weight was 47kg, putting me under the ‘anorexic’ category.
Anyway, my one year membership at the gym in Penang was up, and I decided not to continue there. After all, I may be transferred back to KL soon (yeay!). So there was no point in continuing the gym membership there.
Now, I could always just stop going to the gym and exercise at home. But, knowing me, the only exercise I’ll ever get is getting into my car and getting out of it. So, I started to look for gyms in KL. There’s one in Sunway Giza (Kota Damansara), which is pretty close to home. It’s scheduled to open end of May, so gives me enough time to get back to KL. Being the semi-health freak that I am, I joined the gym.
As usual, they’ll have a session with the personal trainer where he’ll measure everything about you which would be helpful in lowering your self esteem and convince you to buy personal training packages. I pretty much knew where I stood. Underweight… blah blah blah… need to eat more… blah blah blah… need to gain a lot of weight… blah blah blah… 36 sessions at a cost of a million bucks… blah blah blah…
So I played along. But then I found out something really scary about my body. I have 18% body fat! Excellent for me would be around 14%... good at 16%... I was at ‘acceptable’!
A couple of things came to mind. Firstly, I thought I would be at the ‘5% - did you just come from Somalia?’ category. Second of all, where was my body hiding this fat? I’ve got a little bit around my waist area, and that’s it. Skeletons in doctor’s offices laugh at me! I hate admit it, but sometimes I do feel like flying off when there’s a strong wind. Where is this invisible fat!?
The trainer, who has a degree in sports sciences, told me this is the case for some people… you eat and you eat because you’re extremely thin, and then one day you get clogged arteries and have high cholesterol. I’m pretty sure he stopped short of ‘and if you don’t do anything about it, you will die’. What a bummer…
But there’s good news… I still can eat anything I want… only catch is, I’ve got to exercise. So the plan is for me to take in around 4000 kCal everyday, then burn 2000 of it and turn it into lean muscle… sounds easy, right? Well, if I can be a fat-skinny guy, then this would a cinch.
So what I’ve been doing for the past one year is I’ve been going to a gym. I’ve got lots of time to burn in Penang, so might as well use the time to ‘buff up’. After almost a year of ‘pumping iron’, I’ve gained a total of… wait for it… 4kg! Bloody hell!!
I’m now a whopping 56kg. But because I’m freakishly tall (5’10” – ok, so I’m just normally tall), my BMI (Body Mass Index) puts me at ‘underweight’. That’s still good for me considering the fact that when I was in university, my weight was 47kg, putting me under the ‘anorexic’ category.
Anyway, my one year membership at the gym in Penang was up, and I decided not to continue there. After all, I may be transferred back to KL soon (yeay!). So there was no point in continuing the gym membership there.
Now, I could always just stop going to the gym and exercise at home. But, knowing me, the only exercise I’ll ever get is getting into my car and getting out of it. So, I started to look for gyms in KL. There’s one in Sunway Giza (Kota Damansara), which is pretty close to home. It’s scheduled to open end of May, so gives me enough time to get back to KL. Being the semi-health freak that I am, I joined the gym.
As usual, they’ll have a session with the personal trainer where he’ll measure everything about you which would be helpful in lowering your self esteem and convince you to buy personal training packages. I pretty much knew where I stood. Underweight… blah blah blah… need to eat more… blah blah blah… need to gain a lot of weight… blah blah blah… 36 sessions at a cost of a million bucks… blah blah blah…
So I played along. But then I found out something really scary about my body. I have 18% body fat! Excellent for me would be around 14%... good at 16%... I was at ‘acceptable’!
A couple of things came to mind. Firstly, I thought I would be at the ‘5% - did you just come from Somalia?’ category. Second of all, where was my body hiding this fat? I’ve got a little bit around my waist area, and that’s it. Skeletons in doctor’s offices laugh at me! I hate admit it, but sometimes I do feel like flying off when there’s a strong wind. Where is this invisible fat!?
The trainer, who has a degree in sports sciences, told me this is the case for some people… you eat and you eat because you’re extremely thin, and then one day you get clogged arteries and have high cholesterol. I’m pretty sure he stopped short of ‘and if you don’t do anything about it, you will die’. What a bummer…
But there’s good news… I still can eat anything I want… only catch is, I’ve got to exercise. So the plan is for me to take in around 4000 kCal everyday, then burn 2000 of it and turn it into lean muscle… sounds easy, right? Well, if I can be a fat-skinny guy, then this would a cinch.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Watch out Slash!
I look good holding a guitar... at least that's what people say. But I never got around to learning how to play the guitar. It looked just too difficult... or I'm just too lazy. Depends on when you ask me why I haven't started learning.
A couple of months ago, after many months of procrastinating, I decided to go out and buy a guitar... after all, I have a lot of 'alone' time in Penang (for those that who actually know me, yes, I'm still working on the same project, far far away from home).
Anyway, I was in Kedah a few weeks ago, visiting a friend in his hometown, and decided that it was the day I took the next step. Bought myself the cheapest acoustic guitar available, a chord book and a guitar pick. The friend I was visiting is actually the lead guitarist in the band that I'm in. So he circled a few chords in the book that I should begin with gave me some tips.
He also played the guitar I chose a bit to make sure it sounded alright. And that, ladies and gentleman was the last time music was ever produced by that instrument.
I got home, and started practicing. And I sound really bad.
I was afraid that I would quit half way. There were several reasons for this. First of all, it's really hard. Second of all, it's really painful. (This is starting to sound like a marriage!).
Somebody once told me... if you want to make sure you don't quit half way, you tell EVERYBODY what you're doing. That way, there's a little part of you that would not let you quit in order to avoid embarrassment. A lot of people are quitters... but none of them want people to know that fact.
So I started telling everybody that I was learning to play the guitar. Even promised people with a performance. Set dates to when I'll be able to play a song.
Now, I can't back out! Quitting is no longer an option.
After about 5 weeks, I know where some of the chords are... but I'm still slow in moving from chord to chord. If I can't move from chord to chord, then I can't play any songs... I'm just... well... playing chords...
I practice almost everyday... C... D... G... Em... Am... E... F... chord to chord... I'm pretty sure my neighbors are ready to shoot me by now.
In learning to play the guitar, I realized something about myself. Part of my persistence is due to the fact that I want to avoid shame. I've already told everybody that I'm learning to play the guitar... it's too late...
Is that what it takes for me to get of my butt? Don't I have any self motivation to better myself anymore?
I used to do new things 'just for the hell of it'. I got on stage in front of 5,000 people and sang, just for the hell of it. I joined a long distance run, just for the hell of it. I volunteered to do presentations at work, just for the hell of it.
Now it's 'to hell with it'.
My 30th year on this planet hasn't been as exciting as my previous 29. I had a bad feeling about turning 30, and it's starting to come true.
Have to stop this slide... have to start living life again... just for the hell of it.
A couple of months ago, after many months of procrastinating, I decided to go out and buy a guitar... after all, I have a lot of 'alone' time in Penang (for those that who actually know me, yes, I'm still working on the same project, far far away from home).
Anyway, I was in Kedah a few weeks ago, visiting a friend in his hometown, and decided that it was the day I took the next step. Bought myself the cheapest acoustic guitar available, a chord book and a guitar pick. The friend I was visiting is actually the lead guitarist in the band that I'm in. So he circled a few chords in the book that I should begin with gave me some tips.
He also played the guitar I chose a bit to make sure it sounded alright. And that, ladies and gentleman was the last time music was ever produced by that instrument.
I got home, and started practicing. And I sound really bad.
I was afraid that I would quit half way. There were several reasons for this. First of all, it's really hard. Second of all, it's really painful. (This is starting to sound like a marriage!).
Somebody once told me... if you want to make sure you don't quit half way, you tell EVERYBODY what you're doing. That way, there's a little part of you that would not let you quit in order to avoid embarrassment. A lot of people are quitters... but none of them want people to know that fact.
So I started telling everybody that I was learning to play the guitar. Even promised people with a performance. Set dates to when I'll be able to play a song.
Now, I can't back out! Quitting is no longer an option.
After about 5 weeks, I know where some of the chords are... but I'm still slow in moving from chord to chord. If I can't move from chord to chord, then I can't play any songs... I'm just... well... playing chords...
I practice almost everyday... C... D... G... Em... Am... E... F... chord to chord... I'm pretty sure my neighbors are ready to shoot me by now.
In learning to play the guitar, I realized something about myself. Part of my persistence is due to the fact that I want to avoid shame. I've already told everybody that I'm learning to play the guitar... it's too late...
Is that what it takes for me to get of my butt? Don't I have any self motivation to better myself anymore?
I used to do new things 'just for the hell of it'. I got on stage in front of 5,000 people and sang, just for the hell of it. I joined a long distance run, just for the hell of it. I volunteered to do presentations at work, just for the hell of it.
Now it's 'to hell with it'.
My 30th year on this planet hasn't been as exciting as my previous 29. I had a bad feeling about turning 30, and it's starting to come true.
Have to stop this slide... have to start living life again... just for the hell of it.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Yet Another Decade
The first 12 years of your life, you're considered cute. Your teenage years are your rebellious years. You enjoy life during your 20s. Then life begins at 40.
Wait a minute... what the heck happens when you're in your 30s?
Obviously, I turned 30 recently. Actually, it was almost six months ago. I want to know what the heck happens at 30. I want to make my 30s count. One of the things I wanted to do was keep a journal of some sort. And nowadays, people 'blog'...
I'm hip.. I'm young... I can blog, like the rest...
But aren't I six months late with my first post? Yeah, well... I procrastinate... a lot... I've been wanting to put "I will no longer procrastinate" on my list of New Year's resolution for the past few years now... never got around to doing it.
This would be my second attempt at keeping a record of my 'life' after a life changing moment (the first being a journal after my son was born... he turns 5 in June - you guys beginning to see a pattern here?)
This blog will last for 10 years and document how not only what happens, but how I perceive the world with my 30+ year old eyes. I want to see if I do change to be a boring old man, or just maintain my youthful outlook on life.
Only time will tell.
Wait a minute... what the heck happens when you're in your 30s?
Obviously, I turned 30 recently. Actually, it was almost six months ago. I want to know what the heck happens at 30. I want to make my 30s count. One of the things I wanted to do was keep a journal of some sort. And nowadays, people 'blog'...
I'm hip.. I'm young... I can blog, like the rest...
But aren't I six months late with my first post? Yeah, well... I procrastinate... a lot... I've been wanting to put "I will no longer procrastinate" on my list of New Year's resolution for the past few years now... never got around to doing it.
This would be my second attempt at keeping a record of my 'life' after a life changing moment (the first being a journal after my son was born... he turns 5 in June - you guys beginning to see a pattern here?)
This blog will last for 10 years and document how not only what happens, but how I perceive the world with my 30+ year old eyes. I want to see if I do change to be a boring old man, or just maintain my youthful outlook on life.
Only time will tell.
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