Fun With Nurses

I was escorted by a nurse into a room where another three were waiting, in their crisp white uniforms. The first nurse tells me to take off all my clothes and put on the comfy robe. I was then told to lie down while two nurses crowded around me and got me into the correct position… one of them told me to relax, take a deep breath, release and hold… then ZAP… X-Ray…

I was having back problems and my doctor ordered some X-Rays of my lumbar area…

I do believe that my body is catching up with my age…

Turns out there’s a minimal reduction of L5/S1 intervertebral disc space… errr… means I’ve got a bad back… according to the doctor, there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s too minor to justify a risky surgery… so in other words, I’m going to spend the rest of my life being very careful about my posture and the amount of weight I carry.

I never thought that I would start my 30’s shopping for lumbar support pillows and orthopedic mattresses. I’m supposed to be hanging out at the gym, pumping iron.

I’ve always had this fear of growing old, and this newest medical problem seems to just feed my fear. It’s like I’m aging faster than I’m supposed to. I know it’s ridiculous to start panicking now. But I guess I’m just a bit more dramatic than the average person.

It’s better to look at the good side as well as the bad. I may be getting ‘sicker’ as I grow older, but I’m pretty sure I’m getting wiser. And of course men age like wine… the older the better… right?

So pretty soon, I’ll be a very wise and bald man, with a bad back; but I’ll be irresistible to women… errr… that doesn’t seem right.

I was telling my sister about my ‘predicament’, and how I feel that my 30’s didn’t treat me that well. So she told me about her high school friend that she recently got back in contact with. They haven’t spoken since they went their separate ways after high school, so my sister had no idea what has happened to her friend… it turns out that due to diabetes, she went blind and had her right leg amputated… now her kidneys are failing. So in a matter of 7 years, she went from being a hotel chef to being blind and wheelchair bound, taken care of by her 70 year old mother…

You would think somebody like that would really have given up on life… quite the contrary. According to my sister, she sounded very cheerful and optimistic! She even started writing and had gotten an article published!

As my sister put it, “you think you have problems? Try to beat that!!”

I know I’ve written about thinking positively in life, but once in a while you forget about the advice you give others. It takes a little kick in the ass to make you realize just how good things are…

Real Men Wear White

I hate changing phones. First of all, I don't like spending over a thousand bucks for it. That money could be better put to use somewhere else... secondly, I hate the task of migrating all the numbers and pictures and songs, etc etc from one phone to the next. There's different formats, memory card support, blah blah blah... and last, I hate having to learn to use a new phone.

So, I only change phones when my current one stops working. Unfortunately, that's where my phone was heading... so I bought a new one before the old one totally stops working, taking with it all my precious phone numbers.

You must be wondering why I'm talking about phones... doesn't seem to be my type of topic, right? Where's the tragedy, where's the scandal, where are the funny stories!!??

I'm getting there, lah!

So I was at the mall, and I walk into the phone store... I decided on a very macho phone... had more buttons on it than my laptop... definitely for the tech savvy macho kinda guy...

But then the salesperson tells me that they have a special "White Edition"... instead of black or bronze, it has a white finish, comes a white leather handstrap, white leather pouch, and a matching white bluetooth headset.

My first reaction was "errrrrrr...." Seriously it looked very feminine. And if I was to carry it around, then people would say that I 'play for the other team'...

Now, I have been mistaken for somebody that's 'from the other team' for as long as I can remember. Seems that I'm a bit 'soft'... There has been cases where people say that me being married and having a kid is just a 'cover'...

I guess I have to pretend to be upset to be labelled as 'happy'... it is the social norm, isn't it. Frankly, I don't take it as an insult. All the traits that I seem to have in common with 'happy guys' seem to be good traits. I've been told that I'm soft spoken, I'm polite, I have good table manners, I am a good listener.... I've yet to hear a single insulting thing...

It's amazing how times have changed... a guy who acted like that many years ago would have be called a gentleman. Only the terminology has changed... the effect however remains the same. They get all the girls!!!

I easily get along with girls... it's like they automatically want to tell me their entire life story... there has even been a case where this girl who I've never even met, fell for me after just a few chats on the phone... and I wasn't even trying...

I guess a gentleman can make a girl (or guy... depends on which way you swing) feel important... who wouldn't like that?

A girl may like to have fun with a bad boy, but a gentleman is almost always the guy of choice for a long-term relationship.

You may be thinking "oh great... I'm a bad boy... I'm screwed.." Never fear... it's actually very easy to be a gentleman... a gentleman is basically someone who makes others around him feel comfortable... so just treat them as nice as you would like to be treated... simple, right?

People may think you're gay, but so what? Once they get to know you, they'll definitely think otherwise.

By the way, I did get the "white edition" phone... and it's just fabulous!!! :P

Between Boxes and Sock Drawers

Quite a while back, I watched a short video of a stand-up comedian. He was talking about the differences of a male brain and a female brain. I can't really remember the specific examples, jokes, etc were, but this is the gist of it...

You see, the male brain is made of lots and lots of boxes, with lids. When a guy thinks of something, he puts it into one of those boxes. And when he thinks of something else, it goes into a different box. Now as I said earlier, those boxes have lids. That means the contents of the first box don't ever mix with the contents of the second box.

In other words, a guy compartmentalizes everything. An example would be like so... in box number one, while shopping with his girlfriend, a guy sees a short and tight dress which he thinks is nice... being metrosexual, he gives his opinion about the dress to his girlfriend. Thought finished, close the lid. Later that day, they walk past a gym. He suggests that both he and his girlfriend join the gym. Thought finished, close the lid. Simple, right.

Now lets look at the female brain. The female brain looks pretty much like my sock drawer. Everything is just mixed up in there. You've got a brown sock right beside the blue one. You can find only one red one (why would I have red socks?). Some of the socks match and some don't and of course you've got socks in there which haven't been worn in years because they have lost their elasticity, but are still there because I just didn't want to throw them out (you never know when you might need an emergency pair of socks, even if they are totally unusable).

So, in other words, the female brain is a mixture of everything where you might end up going to work with socks that don't match (ie, unrelated things can end up together).

So let's look back to the example given earlier... when the boyfriend tells her that the dress is nice, she starts thinking... maybe she doesn't dress sexily enough for him... or maybe he's being sarcastic, that all her clothing are too sexy and he doesn't like it... would she even look nice in a dress like that? Is she too fat to fit in it? Maybe she should go on a diet... but wait a minute, why is he picking out dresses for her? Does he think she's an awful dresser? Or maybe he's actually gay, and loves dresses?

This of course goes on until they get to the gym, where the following conversation takes place:

Guy : You know, we should join this gym.

Girl : OMG!! I knew it! You think I'm fat!! You want me to be able to fit into those sexy dresses that you like so much! What!? You think I'm not attractive anymore!!?? Is that it?

Guy : Huh? Errr....

Girl : You don't love me anymore because you I'm fat now, right? That's why you want me to join the gym... because you want me to look better for you... so I won't embarrass you when we go out...

Guy : Huh? Errr...

Girl : You have somebody else don't you? Who is she? Is that why you're working late and don't have time to come see me?? I don't live that far from your place! It's like less than half an hour to get from your place to mine...

Guy : Huh? Errr...

At this point, the guy will take a look at the contents of the first box... nothing there that could shed some light on the situation... he then takes a look in the second box... again, nothing.

As usual, this couple will end up fighting... she'll say something along the lines of "I don't ever want to see you again." He'll buy her flowers. He'll apologize (even though he has no idea what's going on). And after a few days, they'll get back together. The only people who benefit from this are florists...

There are people out there who complain that their partners don't understand them, or even worse, pretend that they don't understand... the fact of the matter is, men and women think differently. You can't force your partner to think the way you do. It's these little differences that we have to learn to accept about our partners. Either that, or start planting your own flowers...